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For Those Who ~Love~ The Cling's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
For Those Who ~Love~ The Cling

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[04 Sep 2009|02:26pm]

I love clingyness. As someone said below me; I love that feeling of being wanted. It's just so...euphoric, ya know? Being wanted, being obsessed over. Maybe I ramble, but I mean...it's SO BLOODY RARE to find this, especially in America, that finding it is like a gift, or an answered prayer.

Hope this community makes it.

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[22 Dec 2006|10:05am]

i'm not exactly new, but i haven't posted in over two years. my name's blair, 24yo. i tend to fall into relationships really fast and get very attached. my recent relation has been with a boy six years younger than me whom i work with. backtrack-i have a bf. so it would be natural for this boy to be afraid to have relations with me. but i fell hard and i get really emotional whenever i'm around him. recently, i have become empathetic to his moods. normally at work he is pissed. normally i don't like being angry. so my question is i was wondering if there was anyway i could build up some psychic 'wall' around him so i don't absorb his moods.

i know this would prolly be better in some other comm, but you guys seem to give responses, which is lacking in most comms.

if you could help i'd greatly appreciate it.
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Being a clingon has almost destroyed my life [27 Nov 2005|10:21pm]

[ mood | tired ]

Glad to have spotted this group where there is a more positive attitude about being a clingon.

For me being a clingon (and all the charateristics and behaviors that come with it) was learned during childhood and I am trying to recover from this addiction.

Charateristics of my clingon-ness:

- I am attracted to (and stay in) relationships that are really unhealthy for me, no matter what.

- I value others' opinions over my own.

- My judgement is a bit screwed up and I always doubt it.

- I have trouble putting up healthy boundaries.

- When I get dumped, it is devastating. My world goes upside down and it takes months and even years to recover.

Well, there's a lot more but I thought I'd introduce myself a bit. I was reading the posts and I like the humour in this group. I think it's a good way for me to face some of my behaviors, in a positive way and possibly motivate me to identify and change "some" of those behaviors. My first goal in recovery is to learn to love myself, and being a clingon is part of me. I just don't want to hurt others or myself as a result of it, that's all.

I think this group might be a good idea for me....


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New person ness. [22 Aug 2004|09:57pm]

Well, i was just browsing cuddle interest and found this community. I must say, that i've been in only one relationship where my gf was just obsessivly clingly. All my friends used to be like, "dude your girl doesn't give you any space." The thing about it though, was that i loved it like that. Sure, it can be argued that she wasn't really in "love" with me, and that she was more in love with being wanted, but i didn't care about all that. I wanted her to be around me all the time. To want to know where i was and what i was doing even when she really already knew the answer. For some reason, i like overly obsessive/clingly women. I guess it just makes me feel more wanted. Something i was neglected growing up. Well..i just wanted to say hi.
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[22 Aug 2004|11:51am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Hello. I need some love advice. I’m not the kind of person who has close friends who I can talk to about these things. I’m a bit of a loner, so I really appreciate the time you take to read this.

I’m a 25 year old woman who lives in NYC. I’ve only had two serious committed relationships but many other little infatuations. Both of my previous relationships where things I stumbled on to—I’m not skilled at dating. I have a tendency to fall in love too quickly— (after the first date I start wondering what our kids might look like) This has gotten me hurt in the past since I’ll move into the more physical intimate stages of the relationship too quickly—only to discover it wasn’t a relationship at all. Then I feel used.

So, I had decided to be more cautious. This guy (who is 32, call him "Tim") caught a cab home with me from one of my brother’s parties. We ended up kissing and I got the impression it would have gone further if I’d let it.

He called me later and we went for a movie—he didn’t realize I was the younger sister of his best friend and suddenly he cooled off a whole lot. We went on a few more dates and had a pretty good time. During these dates he never touched me once—but at the end of the third he walked me up to my apartment where we ended up … well toughing each other all over for a bit before I asked him to leave.

We went on another date and did the same thing afterwards. So then I started worrying I was slipping back into an old pattern of confusing lust with love and I talked with him on the phone about if we were only seeing each other. He didn’t say he was seeing someone else—(all evidence says he’s not) but he did say he wasn’t ready "for a girl friend" – I explained that I couldn’t have sex with someone without it being a "committed relationship" and he seemed to understand.

Then we went out again (think this is six dates now) and we spent the whole day with each other. We spent the day at the beach and as usual he never touched me. After a drink or two I (stupidly) said I’d come up to his place. We didn’t have "sex" – but I did give him a blow job. I felt a little coerced into this but I had a nice time—of course I wish I’d thought about how I’d feel about it after more.

This guy is like a flood gate—if he touches me it’s to undress stimulate etc. but other wise he’s almost comically shy.

So I’m starting to get that "being used" feeling again. I want a committed relationship. I don’t think I know him well enough for that and I think it was a mistake for us to go so far so soon. I talk him all of this and we’re going out again tonight--- I told him "we can’t be trusted alone together" I think he will honor that. He’s very tempting and I know the physical attraction is there—it’s hard for me to say no to him.

But, I wonder if this is proceeding in an unusual way? I really do enjoy the non-sexual time we spend together—like sitting on the beach or going to restaurants or hanging out in the park. He seems to enjoy it too—but I guess I can’t really tell.

Please give me some advice here! I don’t feel like playing around with a guy who’s going to leave as soon as someone prettier comes along--- I don’t want to be a "fuck buddy either." – help!

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[07 Aug 2004|04:42pm]

[ mood | loved ]

hey there!
I read about this community in my own, lovey_dovey, and decided I had to check it out. ^^ being a cling on is a relatively new thing for me, I think because my new boyfriend is the first person I've ever really wanted to be around ALL THE TIME. here's a story!

we met in japanese class at the beginning of second semester (january). we were both in other relationships at the time, so while we got along wonderfully, had tons in common, and thought each other were pretty neat, we stayed well behind the just-friends boundary. towards the end of the semester (april/may), we were involved in a group project together and started seeing each other more outside of class. things in our other relationships started to fall apart and all of a sudden we found ourselves confessing that we'd liked each other since day one, but we were both scared. school was ending, our other relationships (which had each been going for the past year and a half) were over, and we were worried about hurting each other or being hurt. things were really rocky for a little while between us and the other people in our lives, but we managed to be in each others' company almost constantly for a month. at that point he became pretty much my only security. I started to cry uncontrolably every time I had to go home without him or when he had to go to work without me for a few hours. I've gotten a little over that now, but I still miss him terribly when he's not around. he's just the most wonderful person to me and I keep finding more and more reasons to love him.

this community is promising, hopefully I'll have some good clingon stories soon! ^^

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[05 Aug 2004|01:42am]

Man... this community is dead! Come on, people, post! :P

Anyway, my certain lovely is coming tomorrow, about which I am very excited. I think he is the only thing that can separate me from the internet for prolonged periods of time.

Looking foward to much clinging.
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[02 Aug 2004|08:51pm]

hey it is i, blair.
i am a dependent person, addicted to affection. i think all this shit started when my dad died. i do not see this as a blessing but a curse. i am constantly being repressed by those i desire. i have fantasies that come back to slap me in the face. i dont come on as strong as i used to, but a person's gotta intiate something. i love affection. perhaps more later.
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